Lieutenant Adventures Christmas Special 25 December 2021. A Black Christmas.
The Lieutenant slid through the TARDIS corridors, bashing into walls and passing fires. He clutched his head. It hurt to even think! He did think, however, that he was going to have some job of clearing the TARDIS up. His eyesight had cleared now and he was able to make out surroundings. In fact, in the grander scheme of regeneration and post-regeneration trauma, this was strange, he was feeling very well apart from his head. As if on cue, he slid into the medical room and thudded into a cupboard. He looked around himself. 'Wow,' he muttered to himself, 'I haven't been in here in centuries, I wasn't even sure if it was still here.' he pulled himself up and made his way along the walls to a cupboard and opened it looking for anything to ease his headache. Nothing. He then made his way along the walls and to the door of the medical room, looking for the Emergency Room of Pure and Utter Emergencies.
The TARDIS shook violently and jolted.
New intro:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oouyj-Tt0lU&feature=youtu.beThe Lieutenant lost his footing again and slid out of the medical room. He then saw the Emergency Room of Pure and Utter Emergencies but he was heading straight for a fire. Snatching a breath, he held his breath so as to not breathe in smoke, then, as he reached the door, he pushed himself off a nearby wall, hoping it was enough to get him into the Emergency Room of Pure and Utter Emergencies. It wasn't, he caught hold of the door, which swung open on one hinge, the other had been damaged. His trench coat swung dangerously close to the flames and he was dreadfully aware the door could break at any second. He decided to take a punt, he'd either make it or he wouldn't but there wasn't much he could do about it. He swung himself out of the door, three times, building up to attempt to swing himself into the Emergency Room of Pure and Utter Emergencies, as the TARDIS began to tilt. This worked to his advantage because the door swung even more. At last, he did a big swing and let go. Yes! He made it.
The Lieutenant looked for the light switch and turned it on. The light barely made a difference amongst the smoke but he found what he was looking for, in a corner, boots with a good grip, he might be able, now, to stand and walk and make his way back to the console room. He hurriedly got them on and then made his way out of the room, balancing himself on walls.
The TARDIS continued to tilt and spiral.
The Lieutenant made his way along the walls of the corridor and back to the console room where the worst of the fires was still raging and managed to get to the console. He located the blue stabilisers and pressed them, not expecting much to happen but they worked! The TARDIS stabilised. The fires raged on, the Cloister Bell rang fast, and on the outside, the TARDIS was still in trouble but in here, for now, the TARDIS was stable and he could assess the damage.
The Lieutenant looked around himself. Whatever of the TARDIS was not on fire was blackened and melted. He made his way down the corridors, assessing the damage, the sights of everything brought a tear to his eye. The library was a mess, all books had come off the shelves, most of them now ash, the swimming pool had dried up and most of the room was blackened, most rooms were damaged and would require a lot of repair.
The Lieutenant made his way back to the console room and the hologram sprung to life. 'That still works, then,' he said to himself.
'Hello?' came an unsure voice on the other end.
'Yes, hello, I'm the Lieutenant, how can I help you?' the Lieutenant asked, as if he was in no danger.
There was silence from the other end.
The Lieutenant examined the hologram to ensure it was still working. It was. 'Hello?' he repeated.
'Hello, is this the Lieutenant's TARDIS?' asked the voice.
'Yes, I am in a bit of a situation at the moment so if it's not important, I'd appreciate it if you hung up,' said the Lieutenant, clutching his head and becoming annoyed.
'No, I did intend to call you, yes, I just assumed I got the wrong number because there's a fire in there and the damage is pretty bad and you don't look anything like him. Now, of course, you'll say you've regenerated but we didn't know for sure you weren't just someone pretending to be the Lieutenant so we'd be caught off guard while the Lieutenant sneaks away to claim more lives,' said the voice.
The Lieutenant stood in disbelief for a moment, unsure of what to say. Finally, he spoke. 'I certainly hope no-one's impersonating me,' he said. 'I am the Lieutenant, I have just regenerated and I have a massive headache,' he noticed as he said that, the pain had started to subside, 'my TARDIS is burning down as a result and I really need you to pick up the pace with what you're saying if I am going to have a time machine to travel in,' he said.
'We'll require some proof it's you,' said the voice.
The Lieutenant cut them off, this was not the time. He hurried back to the console and slammed his fist down on a button which activated the TARDIS sprinklers and then hurried back to the Emergency Room of Pure and Utter Emergencies and grabbed a fire extinguisher and hurried back to the console room and sprayed the room white until the fires were out. He then hurried down the corridors, inspecting the TARDIS insofar as he could to ensure the sprinklers were doing their job. They were. At last, he returned to the console room and turned off the sprinklers. His TARDIS really was a nasty sight to see, half the red it had once been, half black or melted, and smelt nasty. The console was the same, now also covered in foam, but still operational.
The hologram sprung to life again.
The Lieutenant stood in view this time. 'What do you want?' he demanded.
'This is Revenge, Lieutenant, do you remember me?' asked the voice.
'Of course I do,' said the Lieutenant, bluntly.
'So, the proof...' began Revenge.
'Don't be ridiculous,' said the Lieutenant, sharply. 'You can see me now, these are the clothes the Lieutenant you knew wore, I am him, these are my clothes,' he said.
There was silence again and then the Oracle spoke. 'It is him,' he said.
'Thank you,' said the Lieutenant, gratefully.
'He never would have thanked me before, he definitely has regenerated,' said the Oracle.
'Lieutenant, how can we trust you after the last four hundred years you have spent roaming the Universe, living how you like and killing anyone who gets in your way?' asked Revenge.
Although the Lieutenant was dreadfully aware Revenge was talking about him and what he'd done, the thought of it all shocked him and he briefly couldn't believe what he'd done.
Revenge noticed the shock.
The Lieutenant looked at the hologram and accepted, then, that what had happened was unique to that life and time and he barely knew who he was now. 'You can't know you can trust me, neither can I, you'll know as well as I do that adjusting to a new body is hard, I don't currently know who I am and if I don't know who I am, no-one else can possibly know that,' he said.
'Lieutenant, there is a sense of unreality about you. OK, I do understand you have just regenerated, but you seem not to realise the scale of what you've done. The name Lieutenant used to be viewed as a saviour, someone who fought to protect others, for some of us, it was the heroic figure who had once been our Lord President, that was because of you, Lieutenant, then one day, the evil Lieutenant emerged and all those people you had done so much good for now feared you, no-one can trust you now, Lieutenant, not even us. The Universe grew dark when the good Lieutenant died and lived in the shadow of the evil Lieutenant. Many didn't believe it was you, they'd rather believe you'd died than become evil,' said Revenge, forcefully.
There was a tear in the Lieutenant's eye, but he said nothing.
'Lieutenant, you very nearly killed the Universe, both time and space. The Universe is still on the point of collapse and only you can save it, none of us know to what extent you destroyed the Nine Gates, only you do and we really need you to fix them now or all life in this Universe is over. In addition to that, the time ahead for you, Lieutenant, is not looking up. You will be brought back to our starship and put on trial and we will decide how severe your crimes were and what punishment you deserve-'
'I didn't choose to become evil,' said the Lieutenant.
'I'm sorry?' asked Revenge.
'I didn't choose to become evil,' repeated the Lieutenant.
'Explain,' said Revenge.
'It was regenerative difficulty. The last time I was regenerating, my regeneration got stuck half-way through and when it got going again, I had this sharp pain in my head as the goodness in me left, totally through regenerative difficulty. It's the pain I have in my head now, as the regenerative error corrects itself,' said the Lieutenant. 'I know that, but I alone do, I can't prove it,' he said.
'I'm sorry, Lieutenant, regardless of whether I believe you or not, you will have to convince a court,' said Revenge.
The Lieutenant sighed in frustration and cut the communication again. 'I got the message,' he said to himself, 'save the Universe for us but you won't be rewarded and you will have some punishment for existing.'
A blast from outside struck the TARDIS and it shook.
The Lieutenant felt it and put the hologram on and watched the war raging outside the TARDIS. He ran a few tests on what was going on and watched them closely, noting their tactics and their strength and then he ran a few tests with the coordinates of the Nine Gates, assessing the damage he had caused them and what they would require to be re-secured. Finally, when he finished, he set coordinates for the planet Magnulara and pulled the Master Lever.
The TARDIS materialised sluggishly.
The Lieutenant stode to the door, opened it and walked out, closing it behind him. Thankfully, the exterior of the TARDIS had escaped damage. He wasn't here for any particular reason other than to watch. He walked quite a distance away from the TARDIS and then stood, looking up into the sky, watching the war rage on. It wasn't too near this planet yet but it would be very shortly, so it was a safe place to watch from for a short time. Undoubtedly, as soon as he was detected on the planet's surface, he would be targeted, and he knew that.
The planet shook and time and space seemed to blink in and out of existence for a moment.
The TARDIS moaned.
The Lieutenant noticed the pain in his head was subsiding. He also realised he was a bit big now for his outfit. It would have to wait. He thrust his hands into his pockets, his trench coat blowing in gusts resulting from the violence, and he just watched the war light up the sky for a while.
'Detected,' yelled a Cyberman.
'Time to go!' exclaimed the Lieutenant. He sprinted back to the TARDIS, rand inside and shut his trench coat in the door, it came off. He decided to leave it behind, yanked the Master Lever.
Sparks flew out of the console and smoke went everywhere. The TARDIS sluggishly dematerialised.
'Come on, come on, quicker!' yelled the Lieutenant.
The TARDIS shuddered as a stray blast hit it.
The Lieutenant almost lost his footing and caught himself on the console. When the TARDIS stabilised, he retrieved his trench coat from the door and put it back on. 'I'm still the Lieutenant, trust me,' he said to the TARDIS.
The TARDIS hologram sprung to life again.
The Lieutenant glanced at it and then back at the console. 'What do you want?' he muttered.
'Lieutenant, I'm sorry I acted the way I did to you. After some advice and a bit of thought, I have reason to believe you were a victim of your own regeneration but you need to clear your name. Civilisations unaware of our physiology won't understand this, our own kind won't to begin with and someone needs to be punished for the loss of life,' said Revenge.
There was an awkward silence. Then the Lieutenant said, 'What do I have to do?'
'Well, first of all, you started this war, regardless of who you are now, Lieutenant, you did start this war, the very reality of time and space is almost dead. The shaking and jolts, that is time and space collapsing, before long, everything will go dark, it will go out. Only you know the extent of the damage you caused, only you know who you released, the person to fix this is you,' said Revenge. 'Please, Lieutenant, for the sake of all life in the Universe, as who you are now, please save us.'
The Lieutenant refused to look up from the console but cut the communication, muttering, 'Fine'. He further noticed the pain in his head subsiding and set the coordinates to random and, as time and space jolted, he pulled the Master Lever.
The TARDIS spluttered and coughed up sparks as it sluggishly materialised in a random location.
The Lieutenant activated the hologram and panned his surroundings. He saw a planet being absolutely pelted by the war he had caused. He was on the planet Zadritis, the inhabitants were humanoid, like himself. He almost felt like a father to the planet he'd landed on. He'd caused this war, he was the cause of their suffering and fear and he felt it was his responsibility to protect them. He adjusted his trench coat and set off, out of the TARDIS. He ducked underneath incoming gunfire. He spotted a family, with young children, cowering in the middle of the community he was in, if they didn't move, they'd be killed.
The Lieutenant ran at them and when he reached them, he held his arms around them whilst herding them to safety. He found a small, abandoned house and herded them inside, closing the door.
'Who are you?' one of the parents asked.
Knowing the possibility they had heard of him, he kept quiet. 'You'll be safe in here, I am going to try and find your smartest people, scientists, defence, I am going to help them set up a planetary shield, like a bubble around the planet, to protect you all, it won't last too long but long enough for you to learn to defend yourselves, hopefully long enough for me to save the Universe,' said the Lieutenant hurriedly, and out of breath.
'But who are you?' demanded the parent.
The Lieutenant sighed and decided just to tell them straight out. 'I'm the Lieutenant,' he said.
The kids screamed, knowing the name and the parents held them back, away from the Lieutenant. 'You're a murderer,' said one of the parents.
'Not anymore,' said the Lieutenant, 'You look up any records of the incarnation of myself responsible for all that, you'll find these clothes but not this face. If I didn't care, I could have sailed past this planet and let it die, why should I stop here and spend some of my time trying to protect you? Think it through. Now, listen, this is important, do not leave this building for anything until the bubble shield is up, OK? Only leave if the building is destroyed,' he said.
'How will we know when the bubble is up?' asked one of the parents.
'I don't think you'll miss it, look up,' said the Lieutenant. 'For the time ahead, you will have a depressing time of mourning, and I really am sorry for that, but stay here until you know you're safe, trust me, I am going to protect your planet for you until the shield breaks and you're the first to know about it so trust me, I really have to go now, stay here,' he said, leaving the house, pulling the door shut behind him. He ran back to the TARDIS and did a scan of the area on the hologram, searching for some sort of governing body. He found a lot, alien countries, no doubt. He decided to head for the biggest. He left the TARDIS again and grabbed the nearest person running away and pulled them into the TARDIS. 'You're safe in here, don't worry,' said the Lieutenant.
'What is this place?' they asked.
The Lieutenant looked alarmed. 'Seriously, the Universe is dying and you're worried about where you are? Worry about whether you'll wake up tomorrow or not. Now, tell me, I believe there are space ports on this planet, for travel between one country and another?' he asked.
'Country?' they asked.
The Lieutenant looked troubled. That clearly wasn't the word they used. 'Erm, states?' he asked.
'Oh, Sovereign States!' exclaimed the person.
'Yes!' exclaimed the Lieutenant, that must be it. 'Sorry, I'm not from here,' he said.
'You're from another Sovereign State?' asked the person.
'Ah, close enough,' smiled the Lieutenant. The smile faded as he said, 'Right, I need to get to Velvulara, where the biggest governing body on this planet sits, how do I get there?'
The person told the Lieutenant how to get there and he set off at once.
On arrival, the Lieutenant asked a supervisor in Velvulara, 'Where did I come from?'
'As in origin?' asked the supervisor.
The Lieutenant stared at them. 'What?! No! Where did I travel from? I know I really should have asked before I left but I didn't,' he said.
'Lovarius,' said the supervisor.
'Thank you,' said the Lieutenant, bluntly. He then headed towards a bay that read, 'limousines'.
* * *
On arriving, the Lieutenant stepped out of a limousine and looked around. He was standing in front of a large, strange building, disproportionate in size, bigger on the top than on the bottom, covered in plastic windows, rather than glass, which were all reflecting lights, explosions and blasts from the conflict raging overhead. It was the biggest building around. Chances were this was it. The Lieutenant strode up to the building, in through a rotating door and up to a help desk.
'Can I help, sir?' asked the receptionist.
'Yes, please, I'd like to see the Velvuran versions of the Ministers for Defence, Science and Technology,' said the Lieutenant.
'Who is asking, sir?' asked the receptionist.
'The Lieutenant,' said the Lieutenant.
'Lieutenant what?' asked the receptionist.
'Just the Lieutenant, they more than likely know who I am,' said the Lieutenant.
'They sit on floors fifty-seven, fifty-eight and fifty-nine,' said the receptionist.
'Thank you,' said the Lieutenant, heading for the lifts and heading up to floor fifty-seven. Once the lift arrived, he creeped out of the lift and looked around. He didn't know what he was looking for. The building shook as the planet was impacted from above and the Lieutenant stumbled into a wall, it was a reminder that time was fragile and he had to move quickly. He came across a board room where a meeting was taking place and he looked in through the door for a moment. He didn't really want to interrupt but he decided the priority here wasn't interrupting a meeting and looking rude, it was saving as many lives as possible. So, he burst into the meeting.
'Wrong room, mate,' said someone at the table.
'Probably is,' said the Lieutenant, 'but if you had a few signs up, I'd know where I was going.'
'What are you looking for?' asked another person.
'No,' said the Lieutenant, 'whom. I am looking for the Minister for Defence.'
'Ah, yes, you were expected,' said the man at the top of the table. 'I am the Minister,' he said.
'I'm the Lieutenant, I know you all know who that is and I know all of you realise I don't look like what you thought I did,' said the Lieutenant. 'I'm not sure how aware you are of Time Lord biology but I have regenerated.'
'We're not aware of Time Lord biology here but we do have a whole file about you on the shelf in the office and you're not to be trusted so I'd love to know why you're here,' said the Minister.
'I highly doubt that,' said the Lieutenant. 'I'd imagine you have an entire file on just one of my incarnations, I had a four thousand year record of goodness and trust before the last four hundred years. Anyway, you're wasting time, the difference between life and death, saving this planet and letting it perish lies with me because I did cause this and now I am fixing it and it is urgent you come with me right now,' he said, urgently.
The Minister both heard and saw the Lieutenant's urgency and he didn't think twice. He glanced around the room and then said, 'Please excuse me,' and followed the Lieutenant from the room.
Once outside, the Lieutenant let the Minister in front of him. 'I've never been to this planet before, I don't know where things are, you lead the way,' he said.
'Where are we going?' asked the Minister.
'Your office,' said the Lieutenant. 'Classified information to be shared with you.'
Once in the office, the Minister sat down at his desk and invited the Lieutenant to take a seat opposite him.
The Lieutenant didn't wait for the Minister to begin. 'Right, this is urgent,' he said, 'I am not a technology person, not naturally, and I'm not familiar with your planet. I did intend to go around other Ministries, bursting in, trying to find someone in charge and telling them the fastest and longest-lasting defence method which will buy you the time to train in combat and defend yourselves, towards the end of this war, when I have just about fixed everything. Sadly, I won't be back to see how you're getting on because I will be occupied, Time Lord stuff, you know yourself.'
The Minister wasn't sure he did know himself, however, he listened closely.
'The method that will provide the most protection for the longest is a spherical shield,' said the Lieutenant. 'Make it out of whatever you like, I don't know, my area of expertise is telepathy, you'd know better than me. Something that might be held in place by a big, sturdy pole through the centre of the planet or something which raises up from the ground. You would also know what ministries to contact regarding that. Now, I have promised a small family that I will keep you all safe, they are sheltering in an abandoned building in Lovarius, I promised I had a plan and you would not die, not today.'
'We're not over Lovarius,' said the Minister.
'I am dreadfully aware of that,' said the Lieutenant, growing more and more irritated. Politicians were all the same, even alien ones. 'I travelled here to see you because your government are the biggest on the planet, the most influential,' he said. 'Please, this is a matter of urgency, if you keep delaying time, you will all die, you are facing mass extinction. I told the family in Lavrius-'
'That's just one small family,' said the Minister bluntly, cutting off the Lieutenant.
'Small compared with who? Compared with you?' asked the Lieutenant, annoyed.
The Minister remained silent.
'I told the family in Lovarius not to leave until the defences are up, I told them to look outside and that they can't miss it. I want to get back to them because it's fair to say everyone on this planet thinks I am a murderer and I do, passionately, enjoy saving people,' said the Lieutenant and he noticed, as he said it, the pain in his head was completely gone. 'I am not asking you, I am telling you. Save yourselves or die. Your choice,' he said.
As if to remind the Minister what they were fighting against, the planet shook again and the Lieutenant's chair almost went backward.
The Lieutenant got up, yanked the door open, papers went everywhere, strode down the corridor and back down past the board room whose door was open.
'How did it go?' someone called from the board room.
The Lieutenant kept striding. 'You're all gonna die,' he called back, loud enough for the Minister to hear him. He reached the lift and pressed the button but would have to wait a while for the lift to arrive.
The Minister came to the door of his office and looked as if he was about to hurl verbal abuse at the Lieutenant.
The Lieutenant beat him to it. 'Get to it, man!' he yelled, making everyone fall silent. 'What's more important? Your money or the lives of everyone on the entire planet?'
The Minister didn't need to be told again, he got straight to work.
The lift arrived and the Lieutenant got in and pressed G for ground floor. When the lift arrived, he strode out, across the landing and to the receptionist's desk. After saying thank you, he headed out to the limousines, which were still out there. He asked if he might have a lift back to the space port under a matter of urgency and they agreed and brought him back to the space port.
On arriving back in Lovarius, the Lieutenant made his way back to the TARDIS. He briefly panicked when he didn't see the TARDIS, wondering if, either, it had moved or the town had moved. Then he saw it and he calmed down. Walking around the town, he had forgotten which abandoned building he had left the family in. With a sinking feeling in his heart, he hoped it wasn't one of the collapsed buildings. Then they called out to him and he hurried across to them and into the building.
'Where's the bubble?' asked the father when the Lieutenant got back inside.
'The bubble?' asked the Lieutenant, trying to remember what he had said to them.
'The bubble! The shield!' exclaimed the mother.
'Oh! The bubble!' exclaimed the Lieutenant. 'I forgot about that,' he said.
'You didn't say it?' asked the father.
'I did propose the same thing but I forgot what I called it,' said the Lieutenant.
They relaxed a bit, knowing he didn't forget to propose a shield.
'I'd like them to get their act together very quickly,' said the Lieutenant, frustrated.
'Did they give you a time frame for when they would put up this shield?' asked the father.
'No,' said the Lieutenant. A blue glow ha
d covered the floor of the house but the Lieutenant didn't notice. 'I gave them the time frame.'
The mother pointed at the ground. 'Lieutenant...?' she asked.
The Lieutenant looked down. 'Oh, at last!' exclaimed the Lieutenant.
'What is it?' asked the mother.
'Look outside,' said the Lieutenant, as the blue glow rose up and past the roof. It was everywhere else to be seen, rising all over the town. It continued right up into the sky and stopped far, far above. The blasts from above ceased. 'There you go,' he said, 'look up.'
The family moved to the window and looked out. 'It looks like a-'
The Lieutenant cut them off. 'That's the bubble I was referring to, you're safe now, thank your planet's Governments for that, not me. Your task now is an urgent one because that bubble won't last forever and I can't guarantee I will have sorted out my mess before it does. Today, I saved your lives and all inhabitants on this planet, you can't deny that, and I wouldn't do it for nothing so trust me, use the time ahead to recover, train yourselves and be ready to fight when the bubble fails, yes?' he asked.
The parents nodded.
The Lieutenant moved to the door, opened it, stepped out and strolled around, sniffing the fresh air all around. 'Come on out, stroll, you can do so safely,' he said to the family and others in the town also started to.
The family quickly forgot the Lieutenant and reunited with their friends. People ran to each other, crying happy tears and hugging, celebrating and mourning.
In all the delight and celebration, the Lieutenant slipped away, unnoticed, located the TARDIS, returned to it and went in, closing the door behind him. For a moment, he sighed and looked around the charred remains of the inside of the TARDIS, then he considered his next task, to save the Universe. There had never been a better time than now. He set the co-ordinates for 21st Century England and pulled the Master Lever.
The TARDIS dematerialised sluggishly.
The Lieutenant will return in Series 16.
The Lieutenant
Liam Hickey
Revenge
Grant Hill
The Oracle
Lucas Black
Cybermen
Nicholas Briggs
Family
Jodie Sweetin
Mickey Rourke
Julia Butters
The person
Donnie Jeffcoat
The supervisor
Ani DiFranco
The receptionist
Marc Andreessen
Board Meeting People
Gunnar Fritz Stansson
Julian Assange
The Minister
Seann William Scott
Writer
Liam Hickey
Producer
Maureen Farr
Fflat 2021.
Fri Dec 24, 2021 10:23 pm by 
Subject: Lieutenant Adventures 2021 Specials 
