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 Practice for Poet #!

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The Seeker

Posts : 17
Join date : 2014-12-30
Age : 21
Location : Miami, Florida

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PostSubject: Practice for Poet #!   Wed Dec 31, 2014 3:24 pm

Okay, better to start earlier then later, no? So, this is a creature app. Tell me whats wrong with it, if anything, and possible ways to fix it.

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Name: The Malaagans

Appearance:Humans In space suits and no head inside the helmet cyborg like

Attitude: The Malaagans
are tyrant powermad race thats cousummes planets for resoureces and energy

Technology: They inventid forcefields and are 2000 years over the humans

Backstory:The Malaagans are born evil and are just like the daleks/galactus (kinda)

Present: The Malaagans Strive to become gods (like gods) (sorry)

Homeworld:Kaldra a very hot planet kinda like mars and galifrey  (looks)
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The Poet
The Potato
The Potato

Posts : 353
Join date : 2014-04-12
Age : 17
Location : In the TARDIS

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First Character: The Poet
Second Character: Sadie Grayson
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PostSubject: Re: Practice for Poet #!   Thu Jan 01, 2015 1:21 pm

Thank you for this application. However, there are a few things that will need to be fixed before I can accept it.

1) Are the Malaagans actually humans, or do they just look like aliens? Please explain their appearance further.
2) How exactly do the Malaagans consume planets? Do they have some sort of energy that wraps around the planets? How exactly do the planets give them energy? Is it kind of like their food?
3) Why are the Malaagans powermad tyrants? What exactly happened to make them this way?
4) How did they invent forcefields? Please explain.
5) What new kinds of technology do the Malaagans have? In what ways are they 2000 years over the humans?
6) What made them evil? What happened to make them feel this way? In what ways are they like the Daleks?
7) Why do they strive to become gods, and more importantly, HOW?
Last but not least, make sure your homeworld Kaldra is already an accepted planet.

Thank you!
-Poet of Admin staff Very Happy

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The Seeker

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Age : 21
Location : Miami, Florida

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PostSubject: Re: Practice for Poet #!   Fri Jan 02, 2015 10:40 pm

Very good. I'm glad you used the question format of helping the person create a better app, instead of just stating what they did wrong. It gets them thinking and on the right track. You were very direct and polite, which is good.

There were also some other points you could of brought up (I'm not saying that it was bad you didn't...but these are some big ones that should be kept in mind by everyone)
-Grammar/spelling is very important for rp-ing. Be sure to keep in mind as you go over the rp.
-Be informed about what you say. Mars has no atmosphere, so can't be hot,and Gallifrey had different climate zones much like Earth. Also, various species developed forcefields over time. You can, however, say, they were the first species to have that technology.
Main thing to take from those is grammar and be informed.
So yeah, good job Poet!
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